boohoo

the last few days have been really rough. like, really. miserable and flat out depressing. i thought i was doing okay. i thought i could handle this just fine. and that's when it started going downhill. i can't even begin to tell you how many people i know that are expecting. the more news i hear, the more i hate that fact that i can't do the one thing i wish i could---get knocked up. while i'd like to think i am happy for them, i can't help but be sad for myself at the same time. i know, i am being completely selfish. all i can do is think about how i am not pregnant. how i can't get pregnant. how i won't get pregnant without medical intervention. me. me. me. i.i.i. what's a girl to do?
ontop of all this, i have had two dreams where i am holding a precious baby girl. i'm not sure if she was the same in both dreams, but the dreams were so realistic. waking up was heartbreaking. it's time like these i wish i could stay in bed all day and sleep. dream me up some wonderful babies.
i know this is a rather depressing post, but it's just one of those days.