Thursday, August 20, 2009

it's been quite a while since i have posted anything. i havent been reading too many infertility blogs, either. i've been spending my blogging time on health/exercise/food blogs. my thoughts hardly ever contemplate my infertility. right now i am thankful for that. i remember how i felt not too long ago. it seems as though this weight has been lifted off of me. or rather, i stopped carrying it around. i'm almost nervous for the day i pick it back up. i don't want to, but what if i start lugging that thing around with me?
i dont have any words of wisdom to share or any insights. im just happy where i am. my SIL had a baby not too long ago. and i didn't cry. another SIL is due soon and i'm not even jealous. almost everyone in my ward {seriously, i kid you not} just had a baby or is due before the year is over. and guess what? it doesnt hurt me! i went to a baby shower recently and didnt come home feeling sorry for myself. but then again, nobody asked the dreaded question {do you have kids?} i still may get defensive over those kinds of questions. we'll see.
sometimes i wonder if i'm becoming too selfish. i dont stress about it though. i want to be as selfish as i can before i get to play mommy. it feels really good to have my schedule all to myself. dont get me wrong, id LOVE a little (+) suprise anytime...but until then i am enjoying selfishness.
my prayer is that those of you who are struggling with infertility {and all the emotions that come with it} will find peace.
find something you really enjoy, something you are good at or want to be good at and just do it! let others see that nothing is stopping you from accomplishing your goals! {that's good advise to myself!}